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About Varied / Hobbyist Courtney RoseFemale/United States Group :iconwritetheunwritten: WriteTheUnwritten
 
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Mature content
To My Mother :iconkathallyss:KathAllyss 0 0
Kathryn by KathAllyss Kathryn :iconkathallyss:KathAllyss 3 0 Kathryn Angle by KathAllyss Kathryn Angle :iconkathallyss:KathAllyss 0 0 Kathryn 2 by KathAllyss Kathryn 2 :iconkathallyss:KathAllyss 0 0 Kathryn by KathAllyss Kathryn :iconkathallyss:KathAllyss 1 0 Jon Sprites by KathAllyss Jon Sprites :iconkathallyss:KathAllyss 1 0 Kathryn Pixel Sprite by KathAllyss Kathryn Pixel Sprite :iconkathallyss:KathAllyss 2 0 A Time of Doubt by KathAllyss A Time of Doubt :iconkathallyss:KathAllyss 0 0
Literature
I'm Here/Faceted/Hello, My Friend
I'm Here
I'm alive,
I'm here
I didn't let go
And it was all worth it,
I want you to know,
I feel like my self,
Like I was when I was only
fifteen,
And I was so sure,
And knew what I wanted
Now, despite being lost,
Being unsure,
Being alone, shattered, and insecure,
I am finding myself...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Faceted
Hello, old friend,
It's nice to have you
back
I see you've escaped, from that
dark prison
That fathomless blackness deep in
my heart
Hello, familiar stranger, staring
into my soul,
It's nice to see you again,
Having you here on the surface,
Making my old soul feel young again
Hello, little child
Do you feel safe now?
They hurt me so much, but
I kept you hidden, protected.
Your innocence preserved.
Hello, friendly villain,
Why not harm me?
Why defend me, when I
feel dead?
Now I'm alive, but you
continue inside,
Throwing insults to protect me.
Hello, Angel,
Why do you reside,
Inside the blackest parts of my soul?
To bring light, happiness?
I'm afraid you'll fail,
But
:iconKathAllyss:KathAllyss
:iconkathallyss:KathAllyss 3 2
Literature
Why I'm Here.
I'm not sure what I'm doing here
Or why I bother to write..
Well...that isn't true
Not entirely.
I write to let it out.
Everything inside.
When you read this,
Know, remember
Everything here is hidden
In the deepest, darkest
Of my heart
Occasionally it's something
Else, from a better place
Something full of love
From the brightest of my heart.
But now I write to tell you
That the pain is just too much
That the love is just too much
That the confusion, the uncertainty,
It's all just overwhelming
And I hold my head high,
And I go on with my day,
And when I'm laying in bed,
At the darkest hour
The tears spill over,
Air caught in my throat
Mentally in anguish,
Heart in overbearing pain
I think of ones that have left me-
My dad, my friends, people I have loved
I think of the one causing the
Most pain in my heart
The one who taught me
What love was, and
Not to shy away
And now there is another
I question,
"Should I even bother?"
Because no matter how much
You love someone, doesn't
Guarantee t
:iconKathAllyss:KathAllyss
:iconkathallyss:KathAllyss 1 3
Literature
Alone
Do you ever feel alone, even when everyone is near you?
Is it just in your mind, or is there a real reason?
Does your heart sink, you can't think,
and no one's love matters?
Because it isn't his.
It isn't his love.
You need him.
Your heart rises in your throat and aches
without his love.
Do you stare up at the ceiling, deep in thought?
Is it him you think of, feeling very much alone?
Does sorrow creep into your heart,
and tears into your eyes?
Because you know.
He isn't coming back.
You feel the tears spill as you think,
He doesn't want me anymore.
And you know you want him back.
And he knows you want him back.
But what we want isn't what we
usually get.
Unfortunately.
And your hope of his return starts
to diminish.
And your tears pour down in a flood.
But the thing that hurts, most of all,
is that he promised you:
I'll always be here for you, honey, I'll always love you.
I'll never leave you alone, when you need me most,
And I'll keep you safe from harm.

And he ne
:iconKathAllyss:KathAllyss
:iconkathallyss:KathAllyss 3 18
Hidden In The Dark by KathAllyss Hidden In The Dark :iconkathallyss:KathAllyss 2 0 Charlie by KathAllyss
Mature content
Charlie :iconkathallyss:KathAllyss 1 0
Forever Maks by KathAllyss
Mature content
Forever Maks :iconkathallyss:KathAllyss 1 0
The Red Lady by KathAllyss The Red Lady :iconkathallyss:KathAllyss 1 0
Literature
Oh, Angel
There is an angel watching me in everything I do.
They aren't doing a very good job, guarding me like they should.
And even if they think they are,
Why don't they offer guidance?
Why don't they show themselves when things are desolate?
Instead I'm left alone,
A failure at life, at everything I do.
An angel watching meanwhile, from the rafters of the theater
As my life is acted out, scene by scene,
Act by act.
Millions of decisions,
I know I don't belong
I belong somewhere much different than this,
A place of fantasy and adventure.
My angel knows this too,
But stands idly by.
They don't know what to do, or
How to take me to the place that, for once,
I would finally fit in.
So I sit in solemn silence, tears about to fall,
As my pain sinks in, and I think,
And wish for wings to carry me away.
Angel, why don't you care?
Why do you let me suffer?
What did I do to deserve this pain?
All I ever wanted was to be loved.
Oh, Angel, why don't you hear my prayers?
:iconKathAllyss:KathAllyss
:iconkathallyss:KathAllyss 1 14

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I'm...getting progressively more suicidal and depressed and anxious. I was better for awhile, and then my roommate moved his girlfriend in. She constantly puts me down, hits my cat. Tells me I'm immature and she's significantly more mature than me. (She's five years younger than me, in fact, shes barely 18.) She pushes me to cut, she tells me I'm a bad person. All I ever even try to do in life is make everyone else happy.
I sacrifice plenty for everyone else, and rarely complain except for when someone screws me over. At least not in front of her. I complain to my best friend when he doesn't do the dishes (he's my other roommate, there are four of us in total including me). Small things like that. And not constantly.
She's lived with us for 9 months when it was supposed to be temporary. She has never paid any rent or anything. One month we were struggling and she had to pay the electric. She occasionally helps with groceries.
We're barely scraping by at the moment and she expects me to pay her 800$ before she "moves out" in December, back to Maine, where she's from. Then she tells me that if she doesn't have the money she's going to kill herself because she won't be able to afford to move.
I don't even know what to do anymore. Every time I try to voice my opinion I get shut down. My best friend tells me just to tide it out a little longer but I'm in despair at this point and just want to die.
I don't know what to do...
I'm...getting progressively more suicidal and depressed and anxious. I was better for awhile, and then my roommate moved his girlfriend in. She constantly puts me down, hits my cat. Tells me I'm immature and she's significantly more mature than me. (She's five years younger than me, in fact, shes barely 18.) She pushes me to cut, she tells me I'm a bad person. All I ever even try to do in life is make everyone else happy.
I sacrifice plenty for everyone else, and rarely complain except for when someone screws me over. At least not in front of her. I complain to my best friend when he doesn't do the dishes (he's my other roommate, there are four of us in total including me). Small things like that. And not constantly.
She's lived with us for 9 months when it was supposed to be temporary. She has never paid any rent or anything. One month we were struggling and she had to pay the electric. She occasionally helps with groceries.
We're barely scraping by at the moment and she expects me to pay her 800$ before she "moves out" in December, back to Maine, where she's from. Then she tells me that if she doesn't have the money she's going to kill herself because she won't be able to afford to move.
I don't even know what to do anymore. Every time I try to voice my opinion I get shut down. My best friend tells me just to tide it out a little longer but I'm in despair at this point and just want to die.
I don't know what to do...

Journal History

deviantID

KathAllyss's Profile Picture
KathAllyss
Courtney Rose
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
I am an author. I've finished my first two books and two others are in process. I'm an artist in the sense that I make art. Doesn't mean it's good lol
I am a huge Pewdiepie fan :iconpewdiebrofistplz:
I like to write My Chemical Romance Fanfic (now anyways), and my Killjoy name is Flame Gypsy :heart:
I trip on various objects that I shouldn't be able to trip on, such as chairs, shopping carts, and refrigerators.
I love plain Lays chips, and Salt and Vinegar chips, and the happy bounce icon :happybounce: lol
So. That's me. :squee:
Oh. And yeah, I'm kind-of a spaz. Usually inexplicably hyper. People tend to either literally love me or hate me. I don't know anyone who's nuetral. Which kind-of scares me. Because what if someone's out to kill me? O.O
............food for thought.

And, also, I might not answer every "thanks for the fave" (I get busy sometimes), but I do answer fanmail on my website ^.^ ( www.kathrynischosen.proboards.com )
You can follow my blog too : www.kathrynischosen.blogspot.com

:iconpartypoisonlaplz: :iconfunghoullaplz: :iconkobrakidlaplz: :iconjetstarlaplz:
And did I mention that I am an MCR addict??
Interests

Comments


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:icongnewi:
Gnewi Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for the fav! :love:
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:icontinalouiseuk:
TinaLouiseUk Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you so much for the  +fav Hug Heart
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:iconlunarferns:
LunarFerns Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2016   Artisan Crafter
Thanks for the fav! .:aww lover:. 
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:iconmilk-and-pie:
Milk-and-Pie Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for the fav on Don't Fall In Love With A Writer, I really really appreciate it!! :iconlazypoolplz:

So sorry for the late thanks :iconrazycryplz:
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:iconpajunen:
Pajunen Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2014
Thank you for the :+fav:
Reply
:icondamaimikaz:
DamaiMikaz Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for adding Challenge day 01 - Self portrait to your collections. I'm happy that you like it :la:
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:iconhubert61:
hubert61 Featured By Owner May 16, 2014
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:iconlelecat:
Lelecat Featured By Owner May 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the favs :heart:
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:iconandaelentari:
Andaelentari Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
thanks for faving! :hug:
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:iconcelem:
Celem Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the :+fav: on my regal tiger pic :)
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